Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Things I cant explain, with subtext

So in April I met the love of my life. Dark and thick, just how I like it. She had and extra feature that just blew my mind , the height. Well at that time I did not see it going anywhere because I was in my own little world.

Well here it is 8 months later and I no idea how I make it day to day without seeing her every second, every minute, and every hour of the day. I'm sitting her writting my first blog ever at 2:15 in the morning cause I can't sleep cause she is on my mind. I did not even get to say goodnight tonight. my mind is all over the place.

I miss her more than ever tonight desipte the situation and the terms, i just cant grasp my mind around the concept that I can not wrap my hands around her tonight to show her how much I love her (and to keep warm). Am I wrong for feeling this way? The fact that I can not wake up in the morning and see her beside me is what is keeping me up all night. And who knows how long this sleeping apart thing may last? it doesnt even matter cause I know if I am not with her I won't sleep right. I can make an atempt and it will fail.

I never thought it would be possible to love someone this much where your heart hurts because you haven't seem them all day. I never thought love can have such a big part on your emotions where you wondering whats next. I didn't know it was possible to be so happy that just from looking at that person your whole world just stops cause you wanna make sure they are just as happy as you, and that they are ok. I never thought it would be possible to stay up this late trynna stay busy because goodnight wasnt said from your better have (even though it wasn't on purpose). I never thought that looking in the mirror you would actually see the person you have reconciled or changed into because of this one person's love.

I never thought I would get caught by this love. I didnt believe in it until I found you. I didnt think it was possible until I found you. I did not know my heart could miss this much until I found you. I never thought love could throw me of balance so much that I don't care if the shoes match the outfit, as long as I was with you. I never thought I would say "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" until I found you. I didnt know I could worry about someones well being this much until I met you. Everyday I find myself praying for your safety and that you will make home in the same piece that you left in.

These past 8 months have been the BEST EVER.

All I know is that I love you and my heart wont rest because of the greatness. I can honestly say that its the first time its not resting and searching due to hurt, pain, and an empty spot. You bring so much joy into my life that I can't even explain it. But I know for damn sure I WOULD NOT have it any other way.

I LOVE YOU AND IM IN LOVE WITH YOU TI-83.
YOU WILL FOREVER HAVE MY HEART!!!!
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